Republans Can Have “ic” Back

March 19, 2007
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I give in. I thought I could be as juvenile and dim-witted as leading  Republicans, but I just don’t have it in me.

A few weeks ago, I got a little peeved at the Republicans’ recently-adopted campaign platform of dropping the “ic” when referring to the Democratic Party. In the heat of the moment, I sunk to their level and fired off this post: Republans Lose Their “ic”, in which I swore to call them all “Republans” so long as they insisted on dropping the last syllable of Democratic. Well, those crazy guys (and girls – I believe Ann Coulter dropped an “ic” in the same breath that she was using her favorite epithet against John Edwards) are still at it.

I give. I thought it would be fun to play their game, but it’s just too simple-minded. I blame it on the kids. You see, I have 10 and 11  year olds at home, and I have to referee their occasional name calling bouts. I’ve noticed that the angrier they are, the more dumbed by rage that they become, the more infantile their taunts become. I’ve also observed that when a group of 11 year olds get together, the average IQ drops a good 20-30 points instantly and continues to decline for the length of the gathering. This phenomenon is not new; it has been observed for decades in the college fraternity species. Yet the condition has rarely been detected at the national party level. Perhaps George W. Shrub is a carrier.

When Senators Graham, DeMint, McCain or Presidents Bush and Cheney casually drop the “ic”, it brings to mind a clique of grade school boys giggling and squealing with hilarity as they repeat the word “fart” over and over.

So, the Republicans can have their “ic” back. They don’t appear to have anything more intelligent or constructive to offer at the moment, so I’ll give them at least that little bundle of wit.

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